is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
