i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
