please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
