I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
