don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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