You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
