So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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