He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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