last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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