My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
