I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
