I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
