so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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