I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
