We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
