you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
