my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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