Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
