Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Dick very happy bro
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