I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
