Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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