She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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