This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
