he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
