East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
