My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
