i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
