White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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