Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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