I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The air was thick with penises
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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