Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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