so let's talk penis.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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