I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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