Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
