I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
