Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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