i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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