i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
