walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
