Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
