I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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