i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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