I wannas sexs uuuuu
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
