Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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