We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
