What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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