Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
