I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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