He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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