I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
