Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
